…I am not making this up…
1) Avocados
OK. What’s with avocados? People are consuming them like they will cureall that ails them. Avocado toast, guacamole…I don’t know…in my experience they are either rock hard or rotten. There is no happy medium with avocados.
2) Eddie Uses the Litterbox
He must have learned when we weren’t looking.
There is NO way that what is in the litterbox came out of Jerry.
But this means that Eddie’s poo production is WAAAAAAAAAAY up because he is still filling the back yard.
I’m puzzled.
3) 9-1-1
Happy to report that we are now 46 days (and counting) without a 9-1-1 call to the house.
There have been three close calls though.
#1. Your author forgot to close the garage door. Emma arrives home to an open garage door and the potential for an intruder in the house (aka 9-1-1 call #1)
#2. Raine experiences pains that were similar to the precursor pains of her kidney stone episode.(aka 9-1-1 call #2)
#3. CJ was home alone. A white van sped up to the house. Suddenly the sound of hammering filled the house…were they trying to break into the house?
As quickly as it started…it was over.
Which is when we learned that Chuck the Roofer showed up unannounced to replace a shingle.
4) Memo Writing 101
The early winner for the memo of the month is in.
It’s a two pager outlining the process for locking and unlocking an automatic door.
The important parts are highlighted.
Wait. No.
The ENTIRE MEMO is highlighted. Purpose of highlighting = defeated.
5) Reply All
I”m starting a GoFundMe page to support an app to enhance the “Reply All” feature. When the user presses “Reply All” there would be a pop up window and an audible sound.
“Hang on Karen. Do you REALLY want to send an email to the WHOLE COMPANY that says ‘K?”
This app would prevent scenes like the following from occuring…
An email is sent in error to over 800 users.
Then the Reply Alls start coming in…”I received this in error” was one; “Me Too” was a reply all to the reply all. Things started snowballing.
In an attempt to contain the tsunami my wise leader sent an email. “An email was sent in error, we apologize, please delete.”
Cue the next tsunami of reply alls: “OK” and “Deleted” and “Thanks”.
On second thought, cancel that app request. I need stories like this in my life.
6) Rockin’ Robin
A robin has spent the better part of the week trying to get into our house via the basement windows.
The sequence is as follows:
a.stand on metal ledge
b.fly into window
c.shake head
d.repeat
e.on every 7th try…poo on the sidewalk
That reminds me. I need to wash the sidewalk.
7) Combining Houses
So back when we combined two houses worth of stuff into one, some of the things were quite easy to sort out…like kitchen things, for example. We selected the all-star team of cutlery, spatulas, cups, pans…you get the picture.
We haven’t selected our all-start team of outdoor tools.
Which is why I put away ten snow shovels of varying sizes today. Ten.
Anyone need a winter shovel?
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