Hey! That’s My Lawnmower!

Wednesday.

The task on this gloriously sunny day is to cut the front lawn; a pretty straightforward, 23 minute task. As long as I have a lawnmower.

I parked the trusty old Stratton & Briggs in position at the edge of the driveway mapping the route of my first pass. Darn – forgot to put on my gardening gloves as has been my habit lately…off to the garage to fetch them.

Emma is sitting out of the sun, under the gazebo ringing up another sale on Facebook Marketplace. Raine is watering the flowers in the backyard. Hmmmm…I should start the sprinkler on the back grass while I take care of the front. I give myself a pat on the back at the brilliance of this time-saving idea.

I hear Emma…“Ummmmm…Jamie…what’s that noise?”

I book it to the driveway to see a man pushing my lawnmower towards his truck. He is as surprised to see me run towards him as I am to see him with his hands on my lawnmower.

“Eets garbage?” he asks.

Is he…judging me? I mean, it’s not the BEST lawnmower. It’s about 15 years old. Yes, I sharpened the blade for the first time this summer. Ok, so I use a pair of vice grips to keep the handle aligned. And the bag is missing one hook to hold it in place. It’s definitely seen better days. But I wouldn’t call it “garbage”. This all flashed through my brain in the millisecond after I heard “garbage.”

“No. I’m about to use it.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

Completion time…27 minutes. I still have my lawnmower. And a happy back lawn.