My uncle Joe who lived on the coast got fed up with those pesky white sea birds eating his young plants. His remedy was to buy a sling shot and collect pebbles from the beach. After a short while he became a really good shot. And he left no tern un-stoned.
It was census time at the pagan church but trying to count the coven was chaotic as they moved about. Finally they were told to pair up and the task went more smoothly. Thus showing that you shouldn’t count your Wiccans before they match.
The robin noticed that worms were out early in the morning and he could gorge before others who were slow to catch on. A cat spied the large robin and began the hunt. The robin tried to escape, but couldn’t clear the embankment. Thus proving the cat will feast because the burly bird catches the berm.
The obese traveller’s round-the-world trip nearly cost him an arm and a leg when he landed on a deserted island of cannibals. The cannibals did not eat him because his weight exceeded what they could eat, thus proving that good things come to those who weigh.
The reclusive scientist was obsessed with cloning sheep on his deserted island. He grew too many sheep but not enough food. Eventually he couldn’t feed them all and they began to eat his hut proving that people who live in grass houses shouldn’t grow clones.
#LunchPun #RateMyPun
There was mysterious music coming from the garage. I couldn’t quite make it out so I entered nervously. Eerily…the music was coming from the vacuum. I summoned The Police. When they arrived, they confirmed it was a Ghost in the Machine.
#LateLunchPun #ghost
Raine wants to organize our house using energy forces.
I think it should be more traditional.
We can’t agree. It’s tense.
So it looks like It’s my way or the Feng shui.
I wanted to win the race to the lake for the tenth time, but I didn’t want to beat a dead horse to water, again.
My jockey, Sandy McPhilly, fell off in his third consecutive race.
He ran towards me starting to blurt out excuses.
Frustratedly, I yelled “HOLD YOUR HORSES!!”
#lunchpun #ratemypun
I yelled “Kyle!” to my buddy at the end of the bar. The guy next to him looked up too. It turns out his name was Kyle also. He seemed really down and in need of a friend so we chatted with him and we’re going to grab drinks next weekend. I’m really glad we decided to bro the extra Kyle.
#lunchpun #ratemypun
The physiotherapist said my insurance has denied my claim for an artificial limb.
Im not sure if he is pulling my leg or if they are.
#lunchpun #ratemypun
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